San Francisco’s Queer Open Mic

In February, it sucks to be queer. Did you ever notice that? Way too many “boy” and “girl” cupids kissing on cards that tell your sweetheart that you’ll love them forever. Hallmark doesn’t have a M4M section in its mile-long row of pink heart-bedazzled schwag. Bridal shows don’t have suggestions on how two brides can coordinate their dresses without breaking the “don’t see the dress until the wedding” rule….

Well, bah on all of them, we say! Make this month the queerest you can. Dress yourself up as cupid, and hand out your email address to cute young things down in SoMa. Take your lover out dancing and recreate that magical first meeting - you know, the one where you were so nervous that you almost threw up on your shoes? Rail at the universe and believe in love, even if for just one night. And if you’re so motivated, bring your leftover angst, schadenfreude, and any other psychological fugue down to QOM so we can help you get it out. It’s cathartic, you know.

This month, we’re so thrilled to have Michael Montlack at the mic!

About Michael Montlack:

Michael Montlack is the editor of the essay anthology My Diva: 65 Gay Men on the Women Who Inspire Them (University of Wisconsin Press, 2009) and the author of three poetry chapbooks: Cover Charge (Winner of the 2007 Gertrude Prize); Girls, Girls, Girls (Pudding House, 2008); and The Slip (Poets Wear Prada, 2009). His work has appeared in Cimarron Review, Swink, New York Quarterly, Poet Lore, Court Green, Columbia Poetry Review, MiPOesias and other journals. Recently he was awarded residencies from Ucross (Wyoming), Soul Mountain Retreat (Connecticut), VCCA (Virginia) and Lambda Literary Retreat (California). He splits his time between New York City (where he teaches at Berkeley College) and San Francisco, and has just finished writing his first novel.

Queer Open Mic featuring Michael Montlack
Friday, February 26, 2010
7pm sign-ups, show at 7:30
Modern Times Bookstore
888 Valencia Street (at 20th) in San Francisco

Happy New Year! While some news organizations and media mavens may be telling you that 2010 is just going to be a different version of the same crap, we beg to differ - this year is going to be full of amazing brilliance, savvy commentary, and ridiculously fun literary shenanigans, and Queer Open Mic is your gateway to a better year! We’ll make you laugh, cry, and think; we’ll give you somewhere to go where everybody knows your name (and will help you impress your date, too); we’ll even let you get up on stage and wow us all with your wit and verve. So plan on checking out the first Queer Open Mic of 2010!

About Dusty Rose:

Dusty Rose is an ex-school teacher turned pixie. To salvage what remained after the soul-eating public school system, she abandoned career, home, and family to pursue poetics full time. With a BA in Literature from UC Berkeley, five years of teaching experience and a pile of tattered journals, Dusty Rose dove into the slam world full time last year. Since then she has
competed regularly at bay area slams, qualified for team semi-finals in Berkeley, Oakland and San Francisco and just completed a 9 month tour of the US and Canada with highlights in Vancouver, Chicago’s Green Mill, University of Maryland, Orlando’s Broken Speech, and Humboldt State University. Dusty Rose released two albums in 2008 with fellow poet and vagabond, Baraka Noel, as mumbles and the Dust. Her work drips with candied images for your mind; close your eyes… she will make love to you and that is a metaphor.

Queer Open Mic featuring Dusty Rose
Friday, January 22, 2010
7pm sign-ups, show at 7:30
Modern Times Bookstore
888 Valencia Street (at 20th) in San Francisco

Are your chestnuts roasting, yet? What about that Jack Frost dude - has he been nipping at your nether regions? Not to worry, because Queer Open Mic has got a hot little show that will get those nuts a-toasty, along with the cockles of your heart (and any other cockles you might have).  The FABulous Philip Huang is our featured artist this month, so you’ll want to come out to the show on Friday December 18.

I know what you’re saying - you’re saying “Wait! That’s not the fourth Friday of the month!” And you’re right - the date had to change because evidently some fat guy in a red suit has some houses to visit the next week and will be tying up the transit system for days. Look at it as your chance to get your last dose of Queer Open Mic goodness early, before 2009 becomes history!

About Philip Huang:

Model-turned-actress Philip Huang is the spokeswoman for the Thyroid Hope Foundation and the Vaginal Diabetes Survivors’ Group. Check out his YouTube channel at www.youtube.com/user/spider75berkeley and add yourself of Philip’s Video Club on Facebook.

Confused yet?  We are.  But that’s the bio he gave us.  In all seriousness, Philip is a brilliant experimental performance artist, and he’s always engaging and fascinating to witness.  He’s also our holiday gift to you.

Queer Open Mic featuring Philip Huang
Friday, December 18, 2009
7pm sign-ups, show at 7:30
Modern Times Bookstore
888 Valencia Street (at 20th) in San Francisco

Yes, yes, we know. The hot guy outside of Macy’s is already selling roasted chestnuts in red jeans, a wife beater, and a Santa hat while they sift fake snow over him from above the door. Don’t look. It just encourages them.

Actually, there’s a much cooler holiday coming up besides the one the Evangelists stole from the Pagans, and that’s the one where we celebrate self-righteous colonists stealing an entire continent from a bunch of smart, friendly tribes who were here first. But it makes sense, you know, because we had knickers, and they didn’t, so that made us better. And thus, we gather once a year with canned corn and frozen turkey to give thanks for our knickers and the superiority they endow upon us.

Okay, seriously folks. Thanksgiving is soon and Queer Open Mic is the DAY AFTER IT this year. Yes, that’s right! We are proudly gathering together to read our hot queer sexysex poetry at the microphone on the biggest shopping day of the year (at a bookstore, no less, so we can’t even claim to be anti-capitalist here.. but it’s a co-op, so that makes it okay) and YOU’RE COMING. Because you’re our family. And we’re thankful for you and your knickers.

Extra special treat? Mr. ForWord the hot gay slam poet who regularly rocks the Berkeley Slam will be gracing us with his hip-hop brilliance. Grab a good seat!

About ForWord

After being in the slam scene for 3 years, ForWord is still proving he has something to say. Born in the bay area and raised in Sacramento, he has been winning slams all over Northern California. A member of the 2008 Sacramento Slam Team and also a freestyle hip-hop lyricists, ForWord is not only breaking stereotypes with his controversial content, but is also gaining respect in communities that historically have not been supportive of artists of his nature. Early 2008 he was the first openly gay battle MC to win the grand prize at the popular Oakland venue “Tourrettes Without Regrets” and has won numerous battles throughout the valley and bay area. He has gone head to head with some of the nation’s top poets and was a fierce competitor in Modesto’s much acclaimed invitational “ILL LIST 5″. 2009 he was featured on 103.5 kbmb as one of “Sac’s Finest” and is in the process of recording his first album which is scheduled to be released later this year. You can find him on MySpace

Bring your leftovers.

Queer Open Mic featuring ForWord
Friday, November 27, 2009
7pm sign-ups, show at 7:30
Modern Times Bookstore
888 Valencia Street (at 20th) in San Francisco

Please adjust your calendars now: Next month’s Queer Open Mic will be on the THIRD friday, December 18th, so as not to cramp Santa’s style.

OMG! I saw Autumn! There was a leaf! On a tree! And it was half yellow, half orange, and it was LAUGHING at me because it knew the rain was on its way.

I’m voting for thermoses of hot chocolate, big fuzzy blankets, and sitting really really close to the hot glittery new kid next to you at our next Queer Open Mic. And pumpkins. Pie-style.

We’ll be bringing another super-delicious treat… the yummy storyteller NCN, creator of the breath-catching “Tigerlad” (whom the lucky ones among us have already met and greedily eaten up and taken home to color happy sexy dreams). I can’t explain. You just have to come. It will make sense when you get here. There will be tigers. And sex.

About NCN
NCN is the stage name of a believer in collective liberation, hater of capitalism, and conductor of storytelling experiments for children and adults. Tigerlad, the baby donkey, and all NCN’s other characters (NCN personifies everything he sees) inhabit worlds where Newtonian physics and cause and effect logic have been replaced by desire, emotion, and SM fantasy.

Bring your notebook. The one you scribble in when your thinking hat is off. Tell us what you want in the dark.

Queer Open Mic featuring NCN
Friday, October 23, 2009
7pm sign-ups, show at 7:30
Modern Times Bookstore
888 Valencia Street (at 20th) in San Francisco

p.s. We’re the fourth friday of the month, not “the last friday.” There are five fridays this month. Take heed! It’s the TWENTY-THIRD!

Hey Queer Cats! How’s that draft coming? You know, the one of that piece you’ve been working on… the raw, beautiful one where you bare your soul and frame it in wit and punch us all in the gut in the process and then feel just a little bit awkward for not having edited it more even though we’re really happy you showed it to us as is because the choppy bits make it even more stunning. That one. Have you printed it out yet? (The whole reading-off-your-laptop thing is a little awkward, so just put it in your bag now, so it’s ready next Friday, okay?)

Okay! So… after you perform, we’ll be bringing up the killer singer-songwriter Meghan Baker. If you’ve seen her around, you know what we’re getting into with this plan. And it’s good.

About Meghan Baker
Meghan Baker blends a mix of ecclectic folk rock and blues. She enjoys playing guitar and singing original songs as well as covers of her old favorite standards. Playing music has been a passion of hers since she was young and continues to occupy her life in her courier and hobbies. Growing up in the Northern California Central Valley, Meghan was exposed to a mix of genres such as blue grass, rock, blues and classical. She tries to incorporate all of those styles into her music today. For more info check out http://www.meghanbaker.com

All aboard?

Queer Open Mic featuring Meghan Baker
Friday, September 25, 2009
7pm sign-ups, show at 7:30
Modern Times Bookstore
888 Valencia Street (at 20th) in San Francisco

Breaking News: We have collected enough evidence (in the form of gratuitous exposed, tattooed flesh at Dolores Park) to assert with a high degree of confidence that San Francisco really does have seasons, and that this one is called summer.

This is big.

We want to celebrate this ground-breaking announcement with the kind of Queer Open Mic that makes you feel like you’re at a wild outdoor festival, complete with snowcones and sexy ambiguously-gendered queers dripping down your elbow, and an under-abundance of porta potties.

But how on earth do we expect to accomplish this feat within the confines of Modern Times’ bookshelf walls???

That’s easy. We’re bringing Neil Aaron.

About Neil Aaron
Neil Aaron is a gay San Francisco based independent folk rock singer songwriter. His debut album “Single On Sunday S.O.S.” has won rave reviews from some of the top musicians. His music for adults are tales of redemption, heartbreak, and humor. Neil’s album of children’s music “Love is a Family,” will be released fall 2009.

Wear sunscreen.

Queer Open Mic featuring Neil Aaron
Friday, August 28, 2009
7pm sign-ups, show at 7:30
Modern Times Bookstore
888 Valencia Street (at 20th) in San Francisco

Heeeeyyyyyy!  Hey hey!

Hey!

We have really good news!

You know that gorgeous regular of ours who always knows the magical incantation to make all of our microphones work even when they’re completely broken, and who secretly makes big movies when nobody’s looking, and who spits hot luscious stories about women and love and love and sex and women and other things that make us shiver? You know the one.  Brittney.

Yeah.

Well, we’ve got her.  For a whole feature.  It’s gonna be like that time when you paid for exquisite pleasure and no cops were around, except this time it’ll be legal, and the donation part is optional.

About Brittney
Brittney Shepherd started writing poetry as a child. A one-time silence addict and cryptic wordsmith, Brittney learned to harvest a voice on paper. She grew up in the San Gabriel Valley of Los Angeles where she learned her appreciation for warm nights and idle thought balloons. Later, as a student at UC Berkeley, she published more personal poems in local magazines and street corners. Forging her love of film and storytelling and surviving after college, Brittney went on to teach digital storytelling to youth in the Bay Area for the past three years with the Film Arts Foundation and Streetside Stories. Currently, she spends her time making documentary films and is the Associate Producer of GroundSpark’s film Straightlaced—How Gender’s Got Us All Tied Up, a intimate dialog with high schoolers about gender roles and gender expectations. She is also the Associate Producer of the upcoming film A Village Called Versailles, which will screen on PBS’s series Independent Lens in Spring 2010. The cumulus clouds in her brain keep her writing and afloat.

We’re in for a treat! Come play!

Queer Open Mic featuring Brittney Shepherd
Friday, July 24, 2009
7pm sign-ups, show at 7:30
Modern Times Bookstore
888 Valencia Street (at 20th) in San Francisco

OMIGOD ARE YOU OVERLOADED YET?!?

No? Then you’re not going to enough National Queer Arts Festival shows and Frameline flicks this month! Srsly, get out there! June only happens once a year! (And I hear there will be some marches and parades soon, too…)

Or maybe you’ve just been sitting around, glued to your computer screen, WAITING day and night to find out what your favorite queer arts show, the Queer Open Mic, is gonna do for June, because it HAS to be over-the-top phenomenal in June, because that’s how June ALWAYS is. And we’ve been making you wait, haven’t we? Admit it. You liked it, didn’t you.

Let’s wait a little more.

…

Okay, okay! Quit swinging that double-ended dildo at us, we’ll tell you! Queer Open Mic is next Friday, June 26th featuring the HBO-rocking, lady-loving, Berkeley-slam-team-coaching, Lucky 7 — bad-ass goddess of ALL that will bite your face from a microphone!

About Lucky 7
Lucky 7 has been rockin the mics throughout the Bay and the nation for the last 10 years. You may have seen her on HBO”s Real Sex 24 or 26 performing her classic Cucumber poem. Lucky 7 has been on just about every Bay Area Slam team. She currently holds the title of Berkeley Grand Slam Champion as well as coach of the slam team. She is also host once a month the Berkeley Slam. She Dj’s at the San Francisco slam. She is a lover of the stage, and one of the most underrated queer artists. If you have never seen her perform… you are in for a treat!

No lie, this is gonna be incredible. I know because I’ve been adoring this performer since I moved to the Bay Area years ago, tried my hand at the Berkeley slam, and was immediately humbled by the rockstar who went before me. (Hi. Remember me? You made my score lower. It’s alright though. No hard feelings. I’m over it. Really. Kind of.)

But, as you might guess, QOM isn’t the only thing happening the Friday night before the Pride Parade, so here’s whatcha need to do: At 3pm, go to Dolores Park for the Trans March gathering and performances. Bring cookies. When they start to march at 7, put on the best butt-shaking flirt you can muster and lead the cutest marchers on a detour over to Modern Times Bookstore, where you’ll catch the last free spots on the signup list. Got it?

And later? The clubs. Bring bright colors.

See ya Friday!

Queer Open Mic featuring Lucky 7
Friday, June 26, 2009
7pm SHARP for sign-ups, show at 7:30
Open mic allows 5 minutes max, one piece only.
Modern Times Bookstore
888 Valencia Street (at 20th) in San Francisco